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Welcome to the Commission Queen podcast. Commission queen is for women, real estate agents that are craving success and want to do things differently. We talk all things manifesting money, and of course, real estate. I'm your host, Bekkah, Marie. And just like you, I'm a real estate agent, I went from struggling to get clients to making over six figures consistently, while working 15 hours or less each week. And now I coach women like you on how to do the same. Listen for real life examples and tips in every episode on how to massively increase your income and find your freedom with ease. You're here because you're ready to change your life, your business and your financial status. So let's do it.
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Hello, my lovely commission, Queens,
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I hope you are having a fantastic week. Today we are going to talk about fears and how our fears are hurting and creating our reality. So you're always manifesting, right? Whether you know it or not your subconscious, and the universe is constantly picking up what you're thinking about. So you're thinking, I don't want x or I really hope x doesn't happen. All of those thoughts, all of those kind of negative thoughts, right, you're thinking of the things you don't want to have happen. Unfortunately, your subconscious mind and the universe doesn't factor in the don't depart. So when you're saying I don't want whatever the situation is, it's actually it's seeing that, oh, you know, Becca is thinking about this. And so she must want that. And I know it's not very convenient. But that means we just have to totally get rid of all of those negative thoughts, because they're not really helping us anyways, I know that we kind of justify it as well, I'm going to think of the worst case scenario and all of those different things that can happen to be prepared. But usually what happens is we continually think about those negative things in a loop instead of thinking about, Okay, here's the bad things that can happen. And then it would be better if we would just start thinking of the positive things that are happening, right. So your subconscious mind and the universe are always picking up what you're thinking about. So what you focus on expands, you've may have heard that before, what you focus on, expands. And what that means is, the more you focus on something, the more that it grows, the bigger it gets. And so when you're focusing on the things that you don't want, guess what you're getting things that you don't want. So when I look back on my career in real estate, I can ket i can pinpoint almost every time my fears were running the show. And that really hurt my reality, in a lot of instances. So I'm going to give you a couple of examples when I was newly on my own. So if you'll listen back to my last couple of episodes, I tell you that I was on a team. And I pretty much got all of my business from the team. So the majority of the leads that I was getting in the business I was doing was coming from the team. Then when I left the team, a que sort of got pushed out.
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I was totally on my own, and I needed to find a new way of making business. So I had started a networking group a little bit prior to, and one of the guys on the networking group gave me a real referral. And if you've ever been part of a networking group, a lot of times as a realtor, you'll get half referrals, right? They're probably more like a cold lead than an actual warm lead, which you like referrals to be. So anyways, this guy had given me a real referral, a warm lead. And it was a client of his that he had worked with for many years. And he told me that, you know, he gave me all of his information. He had told the client all about me. And so I was so excited. And not only was it a warm lead, but it was a home on the river. Huge home on the river huge lot. And my mind was going crazy. One I was thinking yes this is it. This is finally when I get to get my business going. It's exactly what I need to start showing that I'm doing business and I can Get buyers from this and do open houses, all these things. And then my mind flipped the other way. What if he knows? I'm not a listing agent? Right? Because on the team, I had worked with solely buyers. So I was starting to freak out a little bit, I have never done a listing, what if he knows I've never done a listing? Not only is it a regular listing, it's a beautiful home on the river. So I was thinking all these things. And also, I was a little bit younger at the time. So I was thinking, you know, it's an older business guy, what if he worries about my age, and blah, blah, blah, all of these terrible thoughts, the fears were setting in and they were real. And I could only focus on those things, I was just going over and over and over focusing on those things. And I would try to come up with a positive thought, and then I would just sink back into those fears. So I set the appointment. And as I was heading to go meet with him, the thoughts were still racing through my mind. Like I remember my hands being so sweaty, and it was so nervous. I just said, Okay, here we go. We're doing it. And I got there. I met him. And he wasn't as intimidating as I thought, at first I thought, okay, good. You know, he's
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nice guys kind of older guy shouldn't be too bad. And I did my best to present myself really confidently. And guess what? The appointment took three hours, it might have been more than three hours, I just remember, it hit the three hour mark. And I was like, What the heck am I still doing here. And I don't know how many listing appointments you've done. But they really should not take three hours, they should take an hour, maybe two, if it's a really long appointment with a chatty client. But this was three hours. And it was just this guy, he just kept talking. And at first I went with it, because I really wanted him to like me, I wanted to build rapport with him. And I wanted to, you know, connect with him. So I kept, I kept sitting there, and letting Him talk at me. And, you know, it's just like, if I look back now. And if I were in that situation, now, I would know that I would pick up on the cues of like, you know what, he's actually just talking to me. And he has no interest in having me list his home at all, you know, those people, they're just, they just want to talk, which is nice, too. But I had other things to do, right? So this guy kept talking. Finally, I could see what time it was. And I know that I had another appointment after that. And I said, You know what, I've got to go soon. Let's go over my plan for listing all of that. So I brought out my, you know, little listing packet, or whatever it was, and started to go through it. And again, he kept interrupting me and had no respect for me at all. And he had, he kept saying kind of rude comments. And actually, he made a comment a couple of comments about me being a girl, and me being a younger girl. And so I actually called him out. And I don't remember exactly what he said anymore. But I remember calling him out and feeling so badass, because here's this, you know, big business guy. And I just called him out because what he was saying to me was not appropriate. It wasn't, it was nothing like as sexual or anything. But it was putting me down as a woman and a young woman in business. So anyways, he was saying rude things. And I could tell at that moment, you know what, he's not gonna listen to me. So I finally left and I remember leaving and thinking, That's it, I am not going to be like, I can't be so desperate for business anymore. Because I will not subject myself to clients like that. Imagine if he did list with me what that would be like I'm so I'm actually so so grateful. Even though at that time, I had little to no money and I really needed that sale. But I am so glad he didn't list with me because it would have been a terrible experience. And so then I got really clear that was when I got really clear on how I wanted to choose my clients. How I wanted to have only my ideal clients, I would only work with my ideal clients. And those clients being ones that communicate well, once that respect me ones that are appreciative of what I do and ones that trust in in my value on what I'm doing for them. So that was one instance, when I remember talking to my coach and saying, This is what happened. And she said, you were talking to me about this before. And I could tell you were so worried and what happens when you take that fear? To take those thoughts? Okay, first of all, they're just thoughts. And then you match it with fear, that emotion of fear, and that is creating your reality. So what I was thinking was then reflected right back at me through this listing appointment. So another example, was actually just recently, so this doesn't happen to me very often, where I run into these thoughts of fears, that then create my reality. But it did just happen to me this last summer. So I thought I would tell you guys about it, I still run into these situations as well. So this summer, I had the opportunity to list my husband's boss's house, okay. And the boss is also our good friend. So he and his wife are really good friends. And he is a very influential person in our friend group, because the majority of our friend group is from my husband's work. And a lot of those people have bought houses from me. And in the future, you know, I hope that they continue to do so as well. So this was nerve racking for several reasons to list his house and also help them buy their dream house. So one, he's my husband's boss. So I want to do the best job ever right for my husband's boss, to they influence our friend group, and that I hope to continue to get referrals from three,
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they're good friends, and I didn't want to ruin that relationship, for it would be my biggest combined income deal. And five, they had to sell their home in order to get into their dream home. So they had found their dream home, they absolutely loved it. And they had to sell in order to get into this one. And we were on a time crunch. So there were a lot of factors going on. And I did, I was doing everything I could think of to settle myself down, you know, meditate, try to feel good. And you guys, I will tell you, I was still falling into this fear trap. And I listed their house. And I'm trying to stay like as chill as possible. And I'll say that also on their side, I think I felt some panic on their side, not with me, not because of me, but just because they really so badly wanted to sell their house and so badly get into this other house that with all of our energy combined, I think it caused some tension where things weren't able to easily float. Okay, so I listed their house before we even went live on the market. Their city inspector called and said there's a major safety issue with a water heater. So that was one thing. Okay, starting off on an interesting foot. Then the day that we were having our very first showings, they call me at 7am in the morning, and said that there was water in the basement, because it was spring, and there was rain and there was melting of snow and it caused major water in their basement. Then the day of our first open house, they called me to say the gutter had fallen off. So all these things, little chaotic. And we finally got an offer and the day of the inspection. The seller called me to tell me that the city had shut the water off. So that was a concern. And those people ended up canceling. Anyways, we finally Oh actually, okay, so we finally were just about to take the house off the market. They decided you know what, maybe this isn't the right time all these bad things are happening. And maybe we'll take it off. And because of that, I think that that settled all of our nerves and our energy because we decided you know what, just letting it go and deciding to take off, take the house off the market. So then Next week we were, we were gonna do that. And just like a day or so before,
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we ended up getting an offer. And it was amazing. We were
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all so excited. And it was not easy to get that to closing, there was a bunch of different things. But we were able to close it and they were happy. So, so happy that everything worked out. And it was a stressful time for everyone. But now they're in their dream home, and everybody's happy. So to in order to let go of those fears, to create a better reality, the reality that you do want. Here are five tips. One, whenever the negative thoughts come up, say out loud or in your head cancel. This helps your subconscious mind to say, Okay, I'm moving. And I'm moving on from my thought this is not what I need to think about. So if anything pops up in my head, I just say cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel, and it really helps me just say, Okay, nope, we're done with that thought. Second tip is start saying and writing all the reason those things are not true. All the negative things, all the worries all the fears, right and say why those things are not true. Third tip, if you still can't shake the thoughts, just focus on gratitude, and whatever else makes you feel good. Realize that you can't control the situation. And raising your vibe will help bring more favorable situations to you for breathe and visualize how you want things to work out. This one is so underrated, because it's huge, just breathing totally changes the chemistry of your brain. Because a lot of times you don't even notice notice it. But when you have anxiety you're holding in your breath. So obviously, you're still breathing a little bit enough to stay alive and to stay. Keep your body working. But you're not taking in those deep, calming breaths that can really help. And so if you're taking in those deep breaths, and then just visualizing how you want things to work out, it'll help things fall into place. So much more easy for you. And the fifth tip is move, get moving, go for a walk, go outside, go to the gym, dance in your living room, whatever it is you can do and need to do get moving because that motion creates emotion. And so you're getting out of your head and getting more into your body. When we're worrying when we have anxiety when we're stressed. A lot of that is all just up in our head. And if we were able to move, get some endorphins, raise the vibe, it would help so much. I mean, even just going for a short run, you can still be thinking about those things. And just because you're moving your body, those thoughts are able to you know not stick with you so much so it gets you stuck in a loop you're actually able to kind of get rid of them and realize you know what, this doesn't have to be as big of a deal as I'm making it. So that is the episode for today. keep in your mind, only the things that you want to create because you are always creating your reality. Thank you so much for listening I so appreciate it. Find me on Instagram if you haven't already at commission queen, or visit my website commission queen.com And I'll see you next week. Thank you so much for joining me today if you love this episode, hit the subscribe button and share a review I so appreciate every one of you. If you're not already following me on social media, you can find me at commission clean and go to commission clean.com To browse products and get more free content
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
